Mama, Get in the Picture
Your Presence Matters as Much as the Memories
When we’re raising kids, we naturally become the memory keepers. We grab our phones to capture the soccer goal, the dance recital, the birthday candles, the messy ice cream smiles. Our photo albums and cloud storage overflow with the everyday beauty of childhood.
But so often, one person is missing from the frame. Mom.
And one day, when those children grow up and look back, what will they see? They’ll see their childhood—yes—but will they see you in it?
This post is a gentle reminder, from one mom to another: get in the picture. Not just behind the lens, but in front of it, too.
Why Moms Avoid the Camera
Let’s be honest. Most of us have a list of reasons why we’d rather stay behind the camera:
- “I don’t look like myself right now.”
Maybe you’ve been up all night with a sick toddler. Maybe you’re still in your workout clothes, or you just didn’t have time for makeup today. - “I want to lose a few pounds first.”
It’s easy to postpone photos until we feel more confident in our bodies. - “I don’t want to ruin the picture.”
We think the moment is about the kids, and adding ourselves might make it less “perfect.” - “I’m not photogenic.”
Many moms cringe at seeing themselves in photos, focusing only on perceived flaws instead of the love in the moment.
Do any of these sound familiar? You’re not alone. Almost every mom feels this at some point. But here’s the truth: your kids don’t see you that way.
How Your Kids See You
To your children, you are not a collection of flaws. You are:
- The arms that held them when they cried.
- The smile that cheered for them when they were brave.
- The voice that read bedtime stories in the dark.
- The presence that made every space feel safe.
When they look at a picture with you in it, they don’t notice whether you were “put together.” They notice that you were there.
The Power of Being in the Frame
Photos are not just about documenting what happened. They’re about who we loved it with.
A snapshot of your child at the science fair is special. But a snapshot of you standing beside them, arm around their shoulders, doubles its value. It tells the story of belonging.
Later, when your children flip through photo albums or scroll through old digital folders, they won’t just see achievements. They’ll see relationship. They’ll see a mom who showed up, celebrated, and belonged in the story.
Gentle Reminders for Moms
Here are a few truths to carry with you when you hesitate to get in the picture:
- You are already beautiful. Not because of perfect hair or polished skin, but because you are their mom.
- You belong in the story. Every family photo is incomplete without the person who makes so much possible.
- Your kids want to remember you as you are. Not just at your “best,” but in the real, messy, everyday moments too.
- Someday, these photos will matter more than you can imagine. Your kids—and maybe even your grandkids—will treasure them.
Practical Ways to Make Sure You’re Included
It doesn’t take much effort to shift from “never in the photo” to “present in the story.” Try a few of these simple ideas:
- Hand the camera to someone else. Don’t hesitate to say, “Can you take one with me in it, too?”
- Set up the self-timer. Modern phones make this so easy. Prop it up, hit the timer, jump in.
- Book family photos. Once a year, make space for a professional or even a friend to capture all of you together.
- Take selfies with your kids. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Pile together on the couch, stretch your arm out, and smile.
- Say yes when your kids ask. Often, children love taking silly pictures with mom. Let them capture you.
One of the easiest ways to make sure you’re included in the photo is to invest in a simple phone tripod with a Bluetooth remote. I can’t tell you how many times this little tool has saved me from saying, “Oh well, I guess I’ll just take the picture.” With a tripod, you can set your phone on the counter, the picnic table, or even in the backyard, press the button, and jump into the frame with your kids. No more awkward balancing your phone on a stack of books! I love this affordable option on Amazon, because it’s small enough to toss in a bag and sturdy enough to capture family shots without stress.
Reframing the Fear
If you find yourself shrinking away, try reframing with these gentle thoughts:
- Instead of “I don’t like how I look today,” try “This is how my kids remember me today.”
- Instead of “I’ll wait until I’ve lost weight,” try “My love doesn’t wait. It belongs in the picture right now.”
- Instead of “I don’t want to ruin the photo,” try “I complete the photo.”
What Your Presence Communicates
Every picture you’re in tells your kids something powerful:
- “You’re worth showing up for.”
- “I wanted to be part of this memory, not just watch it.”
- “Our story is something we lived together.”
And one day, those photos may bring comfort when you’re not there to tell the story yourself. They’ll show your children not only what they did but who stood by their side.
A Word of Encouragement
Moms, you don’t have to be perfect to belong in the frame. You don’t have to hide until you “look better” or “feel ready.” Your children already see you as irreplaceable.
The messy bun, the tired eyes, the stretch marks, the laugh lines—they are the marks of a mom who was there.
So hand over the camera. Jump into the picture. Let yourself be seen.
Because memories aren’t just about what happened. They’re about who was there.
And your kids want to remember you.
Closing Thoughts
When you look back years from now, you’ll never regret being in too many photos with your children. You’ll only regret the ones you weren’t in.
So this week, let someone snap a candid. Pose for the silly selfie. Step into the group shot. Get in the picture.
Your kids will thank you.
And they’ll know, beyond a shadow of a doubt:
“Mom was with me. Always.”
Betsy Strauss is an unexpected homeschooler, mother of three, who is in a relationship with a sweet man for life. She loves reading books, drinking coffee, and learning anything with her kids.